Don't Negotiate With Zombies

Barbara knows what she wants, and it's not a Zombie Husband.

If zombies could do more than just groan, gurgle, stumble and snarl - if they could actually talk to you - what would they say? Would they make degrading, undead demands in broken sentence fragments blighted by bad grammar; or with smooth speech, would they seductively convince us to let them consume our brains? Would they rant on their dry, scratchy vocal cords, about how annoying the living are with their delight in the "little things in life"; or would they grumble about the uncomfortable accommodations of the grave: the aches and pains which are a nightly part of zombiehood?

Or, if indeed they were so articulate, would they repent for all evils committed in the past, or stubbornly stand by each and every selfish act while living?

Whatever they do, I think we can safely assume that if - and when - zombies do learn to verbally express themselves... we won't like it. When it comes down to it, do you really want to hear what that maladjusted, filthy, worm-eaten shell of a post-human has to say? The best advice is to board up your windows, keep your fire arm loaded, aim for the head, and don't ever negotiate with Zombies!

AND WATCH "DEATH DO US PART," a short film by Jon Croft!

Written by Rebecca Croft